The Annual Birthday Introspection

Last week, I was asked do I ever feel like I haven't achieved all that I should have for my age? Now, of course, that's not the question word for word, but it is the general jist of the question posed, out of the blue, on a sunny Friday evening. The person asking, aiming the question first at themselves, was wondering if I ever felt the same. The question threw me. It's a BIG question. I'm pretty sure everyone asks themselves this at some stage in life, others might ask it everyday. I know I go months asking myself this question. Sometimes, it feels so scary to think about, I try not to think about it at all. 

At the beginning of the year, I had an "What am I doing with my life?" blog post. In real life, this happens AT LEAST once a week. When it happens, I try to focus on all my achievements in my life, rather than the failures*. I have a Masters degree, a diploma from the OU, written two books and nearly finished a third. Academically, I believe I've achieved enough. Personally, I have a beautiful, intelligent, funny daughter whom I love with all my heart. She is my muse and (stealing a line from a movie here) she makes me want to be a better person. I haven't travelled extensively, however I'm pleased with the amount of Europe I have seen. The furthest I have been is to Bialystok, Poland. My CV is as diverse as they come. From factory worker to cabin crew, bartender to teacher, I've covered a lot. So, what's missing?

Book deal, own home and husband, I suppose! The only one that causes me to miss any sleep is the book deal. Being a writer is something I've wanted to do since I was seven. For a long time, I didn't allow myself to think or even dream about it. I thought being a writer was impossible, but I want to follow my dream now, for as long as possible. I want to be able to tell Beth that she can be whatever she wants to be and I'm proof. If you work at it, dreams can come true.

I'm turning 33 this week and although I don't have everything I would like in my life, I am happy with what I have. I have my health, wonderful family, great friends and a dream. 

At the wedding last week. Hope the other ladies don't mind being on my blog ;-)

(*I used the word failure, but, in truth, I don't believe in failure. Any time I haven't achieved something I see it as a learning curve. I almost failed my Leaving Cert when I was 17. I was a cocky little madam. I thought I could coast by on the bare minimum of study. I passed the exams by the skin of my teeth, all bar one. It was a huge slap in the face. It humbled me. It didn't change me there and then, but it was the beginning.)

Don't Stay Away Too Long

It's been a while since I blogged. I have been busy but that's no excuse! I need to stay regular with my blogging or I get out of the habit of it. If I stay away too long it can be hard to get back into.

News with me... Well, first off, Beth and I are heading to London next week and staying with a friend of mine. We met when I worked in Ryanair ten years ago, we've lots of reminiscing to do :) I'm planning to take Beth to the Natural History Museum, Hyde Park, Buckingham Palace, maybe to Kensington to see if we can catch a glimpse of the new prince ;) I'm so excited, London is a fantastic city.

It was my birthday last week. I turned 32 and it feels no different! But, I had a lovely meal out with my family on the day and a great night out with friends at the weekend.

My little princess and me

Weight loss:

Well, I did lose 1.5lb last week but at my weigh in yesterday I had stayed the same. I'm actually quite glad as I did over-indulge for my birthday! So...

Current weight: 10st 6.5lb

Total loss: 5.5lb

Goal: 10st

Great Start

I was at my Weight Watchers meeting this morning and I am down 4lb. I'm delighted. It's a great start and I hope I'll be able to keep it up.

I didn't starve myself, nothing like that. I was just careful not to over-indulge and my portion sizes went down a bit too.

Currently: 10 stone 8 pound
Loss so far: 4lb
Goal: 10 stone for the moment.

It's my 32nd birthday next week so I may have a few pound on the week after. I'll try not to go too mad but we will be having a family meal in my favourite Italian restaurant on the Thursday and then, a night out on the tiles on the Saturday night. I'll have to be very good the rest of the time!

No other major news. Still working on DITC. I've decided to do up the house a little (along with the garden). I'm going for a Cath Kidston kind of style. I will post photos when it's all done. I have been buying bits and pieces for the last few weeks. Want to have it nice for Beth's birthday in September!

Weather is still really good but the blue skies are set to break today. No sign of the rain yet though :-)

Happy Birthday to...

My blog!!! Three years ago on this day I started this blog with this post. I originally started the blog just to document what was happening with Beth and her development but quickly turned into a bit of everything, including my new career as a writer.

Tomorrow, I will do a long post on the weddings and Blackpool, but for today I'm just saying Happy Birthday and a few photos. We've some exciting family news that I'll reveal tomorrow too!!

Oscar the dog at Cabra Castle

Beth in the church

Beth and me with the newly-wed Debs

Beth having a ball with her friends

On the plane

Little flower girl

Beth with the newly-weds

At Nickelodeon Land, Pleasure Beach, Blackpool

Getting a hug off Dora

Having fun with Spongebob

New Year Resolutions

Good morning world! Happy New Year to you all. Hope you celebrated in style whatever way you wanted. I had a quiet night. Some bright spark let off the loudest firework known to man at midnight and, as a result, I spent the first hour of the new year with Beth. She was still up at 8am, sitting on me and telling me to get up!

I don't usually make a list of resolutions but I do believe lists make things happen so here it goes...

New Years Resolutions:

1. Finish Devil in the Clouds

2. Enter the ABNA

3. Learn to drive

4. Get more writing jobs

5. Stop eating rubbish and get back down to my ideal weight (not sure what weight I am but know it's not ideal)

6. Start jogging again and complete the Dundalk 10k in May

Just before Christmas I received the first printed copies of The Secret Beneath Bleeker Avenue. It was pretty cool to see my book actually in print.

So happy with them :-)

I made only one (sort of) resolution last year. It was to keep my blog more up to date and I think I kept that! Well, it's definitely better than previous years. 

2012 was a good year. I finished and published my first book, had articles published in The Irish Times and online with journal.ie, I turned 31, Beth turned 3, we went on holidays to Carlingford and Spain. It has been a full year and I hope 2013 is just as good!

How were your New Years celebrations?

Today is my Birthday

I turned 31 today and I don't feel any different. I know it is just another day but for the last few years my birthdays have been 'special' ones. 

When I turned 28 I was pregnant with Beth. It was nice thinking that the following year it wouldn't be just me anymore. I was almost eight months at that stage and was very uncomfortable. Beth's head was right under my ribs and constantly kicking me. I was celebrating with my friends but did not stay out long.

Turning 29 was great because it was the last one of my 20's. I went for a meal with my friends and then on to a pub. I think I was home by midnight! 

Of course, last year was a big one. Moving into my 30's was a pivotal part of my life. I was no longer overweight and I had a renewed sense of who I was and where I wanted to go. I was content with my life and where it was heading.

In the last year, I have written several short stories, articles and a novel. Currently, I have two books in progress. I am doing what I have always dreamed of doing, writing. Last week, my first novel The Secret Beneath Bleeker Avenue went on sale on Amazon. This is an exciting time in my life.

Maybe today doesn't feel as special as the last few years because it's just another number. I suppose my next 'big one' will be my 40th. Maybe it is because I'm realising every day is special. Maybe I'm just getting to a point in my life when birthdays just don't mean as much as they used to.

Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. My 30's are going to be great. The whole decade will be special. These are the years that will matter.

My  birthday BBQ was a little too much excitement for Beth

Irish BBQ's are not easy!

Why Did I Self-Publish?

As some of you may know already I decided on Monday to self-publish my book The Secret Beneath Bleeker Avenue. There are many reasons why I decided to do it myself.

Firstly, I'm a very impatient person. Ask anyone who knows me personally and they will agree. If I go into a shop and there is a queue of more than three people I'm most likely to turn on my heel and walk back out. I don't like waiting for anything. Therefore, after only beginning to query agents and publishers on the 21st June, I'm already losing my patience with the lack of replies. Any authors out there will know it will take some people a long time to get back to me but, to be very honest, I can't wait. I know I need to relax a little more and if this was the only reason for self-publishing I probably would have waited it out.

Secondly, there is a lot of information out there on self-publishing. If it is done right a self-published author can make a living. It's not rocket science (well, maybe getting an ITIN is, but more on that another time) and, I believe, with a great deal of research, an author can self-publish and avoid the pitfalls of others.

Thirdly, I am in control. I control everything to do with my book, how it is published, how much royalties I will get, etc. This is a very important aspect for me.

Finally, I just had to get that lovely cover out there!

In other news, I turn 31 next week. I'm having people over for a BBQ this weekend (hopefully the weather is good) and can't wait to celebrate another year. Stay tuned for more on the party and what I've done since I turned the 'dreaded' 3-0!